(Let's just pretend it hasn't been a million years since I've posted)
(Oh, and I don't have any new squirrel news except *one of the babies was hit by a car. We gave it a proper Christian burial and was laid in a grave next to its mother. The graves are marked with crosses made from popsicle sticks and glittery pipe-cleaners.* To read the text between the *s - highlight it with your mouse. Except Nichole. Nichole, you should just look away... you don't want to know, trust me.)
In our family, the Fourth of July is almost as big as Christmas. Our cities' festivities all occur on our lakefront, and I grew up just a couple blocks away from the lake... so the Fourth was huge for us as kids.
Everyone we knew wanted us to save parking spaces for them in front of our house. One year my uncle even parked in our front yard, which was something because our front yard was a steep hill - hard enough to stand on let alone park a pickup truck on.
My parents would make a ton of food! Family and friends would gather, we'd come and go between the lake and our home. Some of my best childhood memories were of this day.
As I grew up, I developed a great love for learning the history of the United States. I learned that one branch of my family first settled here in 1645, and another great-grandma claimed to be able to trace her family back to the Mayflower. Back in the year 2000 my husband and I were able to travel to New England (it was a business trip for him, and pure fun for me!) and we visited Granby in Connecticut where my family first settled (we were the Gossards). It was very exciting to see the family name on a street sign, and to visit one of the homesteads. We explored a cemetery where many of my ancestors were buried, and met with a local historian that showed us around an old school house. My heart races with excitement as I recall the memories of that trip.
As a homeschooling mother, every moment is a teachable moment (grin) and this holiday is no exception! Our family loves books, and I thought I'd share some of our favorites with you. It's my hope that as my children read these stories, and hear their own family stories that the spark will start a flame in their hearts as well.
"Did you know that your great-great-great-great-great-....grandpa had his foot shot off in the Revolutionary War? And that while he was fighting, he once saw George Washington himself?"
Here are a few of our Favorite Fourth of July books:
My absolute favorite right now has to be The 4th of July Story by Alice Dalgliesh. I love the illustrations, the story holds the children's interest, and it really has everything they need to know about the history of the holiday. Fun to read = fun to learn. I highly recommend it.
Iris' favorite is Katie's Trunk by Ann Turner. It's a story of a little girl, about Iris' age, that lived at the time of the American Revolution. Her family was loyal to England, Tories!, but I won't tell you anymore for fear of ruining the story for you. I will say it was an interesting perspective for me.
The next two are also very popular in our home. Benjamin Franklin and George Washington both by Ingri & Edgar Parin d'Aulaire. We love all of the d'Aulaire books we've read so far. They are published by Beautiful Feet books, and are as beautiful as they are fun to read. My kids have probably spent hours studying the illustrations.
Two books that I enjoy, but are still a little to "wordy" for my children are Liberty by Lynn Curlee and Shh!
We're Writing the Constitution by Jean Fritz. I think maybe a slightly older child would enjoy these books very much. Liberty is the history of the Statue of Liberty. I learned so much from this book, and it even has a couple of pages in the back with Specifications and a Timeline. Shh! We're Writing the Constitution is illustrated by one of our favorite people - Tomie dePaola. This book is chock full of interesting facts about the men that wrote the Constitution, very unique. Again, I learned so much. I was also thrilled that the last 16 pages of the book are the Constitution itself!
My children were gifted the book Old Glory an American Treasure by the parents of a dear friend. It's a very good book for planting the seed of Patriotism in our children and they love the Lang-style illustrations.
But that is just my 2 cents! I would encourage you to do what I usually do, and that is to get these books from your local library first and check them out for yourself.
Okay, I've been noodling over this post for a week or so. And I'm not sure where to start.
This is a knitting blog. I should blogging about knitting. If you haven't noticed, there hasn't been much knitting going on.
I think I've lost my passion for knitting.
(gasp!)
Seriously, I was thinking about seeing a doctor for it.
I've been obsessed with knitting for almost 4 years now. At least. I still like it. I really enjoy it. It's maybe just taking a more realistic role in my life? I think starting homeschooling is what kinda shook me out of it. I've had to become much more careful with my time. I think the surprise is that I'm enjoying myself outside of my knitting. Maybe that sounds funny, let me explain.
The title of my blog is "Some Call Them Sticks and String, I Call Them Sanity", and there is a reason for that. I started knitting again, serious-obsession-knitting, after the birth of my son four years ago. I had post-partum depression, though I didn't realize it when I was in it. It was only as I was coming out of it (2 years later) that I really saw how far I had fell.
I didn't think I had post-partum because I was totally in love with my new baby and was thrilled to be a new mom again. In fact, my children were the only thing I felt I had going for me, and my love for them was my only happiness. I thought post-partum depression meant wanting to throw yourself or your child out of a window. I never ever had any desire to do either. I felt sad, a lot. I worried about things that were so far out there, I felt like I had nothing to offer society, I felt like no one cared about me. I couldn't get out of bed, I stayed in my pajamas for days. I'd make plans, thinking that would shake me out of it, and then I would get so anxious about getting dressed and going out, I'd cancel. I'd have waves of overwhelming guilt, for no reason. That surprised me. I'd try to explain it to Tim, I felt incredibly guilty, like I've forgotten something huge or have done something awful but I just couldn't think what!
I ended up taking some herbs, I just wanted to feel more balanced. And I started knitting again.
Knitting led to starting a knitting group. Which met a huge need because I got to make friends again. A year after me, most of my friends had their second baby. Then they went through similar post-partum experiences. Knitting kept us sane. Knitting provided something methodical and beautiful. Knitting brought friends. Knitting provided a safe way to re-enter society, an excuse to leave the house with a pleasant destination. I got good at it, and people started asking for my help. I loved knitting for making me feel smart again. It was a very welcome distraction for my mind.
I really started feeling like myself about two years ago (I have to rely on friends for this one, it had been so long since I felt "normal", I kinda forgot what normal was.) I continued with the knitting because I absolutely loved it. I love the fact that it is practically bottomless. I could study knitting my entire life, and there would always be something new to learn. And I loved it because I could still make beautiful things with the knowledge I possessed that moment. I love that it involves all 5 senses (taste comes in on knitting night when everyone brings such yummy treats!)
Knitting met so many needs in my life.
Met. Those needs have finally been met.
So I can move on, and I kinda feel like I have.
I remember once getting a compliment from a reader that she was glad I was a knit-blogger that just blogged about knitting and left my kids and cats out of it. Hah! I've really strayed from there.
I think enough of you know that my life is an open book. I love blogging. I love being connected to such a huge community. I love reading blogs! I'm guessing, but I'm sure I have over 200 blogs book-marked. I've learned so much from blogs, and they've really enriched my life. So although I've considered ending blogging, I'm going to give it another try.
The plan is to turn off the comments here, and let this blog exist. It's very special to me. However, I don't really feel like I can just change it into a life blog. Look at my links, button, knit-alongs. This is a knitting blog, a very neglected knitting blog.
I'm working on a new blog. A Life Blog. I'm hoping to have it up soon. If you want to visit me, I'd love to see you again. But if you don't, I understand and won't be offended at all. There will still be knitting, but there will also be embroidering, sewing (hopefully), homeschooling, kids, and my take on life in my small corner of the earth.
Thanks for everything, I'll see you later....
Depression is real. I remember my college Anatomy & Physiology professor saying that if you feel sad for an extended period, you need to get help. Depression is linked to serotonin levels, and if they stay down too long, they won't come back up on their own. Nip it in the bud. Get help now. Do whatever it takes to get well. Call your doctor. Depression robs you and the world of yourself!
The same Hands that made the sun and the moon made you! The same Hands that paints the gorgeous sunsets painted the flecks of color in your eyes. The Composer that composed the symphonies of babbling brooks and the lullabies of a quiet forest composed your laughter! If you look in every city in every country on every continent, throughout all time, you will never find another you! You were created at this time, in this place, with a purpose. You have unique gifts and a unique past that will allow you to impact the world in a way only you can. If you don't bring it, it won't be brought, and we will all miss out! Don't let anything get in the way of this, especially not depression.
Seriously, it's not the #1 resolution, but it is on the list. Actually I think it reads more along the lines of "blog more regularly or quit." errrr, ummm, something like that....
Okay, I actually have a photo of some knitting. I'm not kidding. Real wool.
Actually I have several photos:
Iris is knitting the knit stitch all by herself! Not only that, she's getting pretty good at it. She says she enjoys it, but I think maybe some higher motivation is that she thinks she can now accompany me to the yarn shop on Thursday nights. Hah! I'd start a mother-daughter-knit-group on another day of the week before I give up my 4 hours of free time!
Honestly though, I'm very impressed with her progress, and it's fun to knit together (at home.)
Now sit down,
because I have a genuine untouched photo of something I knit myself! I do still knit! They are Iris' mittens. They match her hat and scarffrom last year that I already knit. Actually, the finished mitten was done about 2 months ago. I dug it out and will finish it because Iris and my mother-in-law have both brought up, on a several occasions, that Iris really does need two mittens. I keep trying to convince her that one is more practical, but she keeps giving me "the look."
Now, I developed my own "look" the moment she was placed in my arms. It took about a year to fully develop it as a skill, but I am quite good. It's very powerful. I can even use it on the dog. It was sometime in the last three or four months, though, that something very unsettling has started to occur. Iris has cultivated a "look" of her own. The first time she used it I played cool, but I internally freaked out. It was like I was looking into the face of a 15 year old! You know the "look" I'm talking about, right? The one that says "I-can't-believe-you-got-to-be-as-old-as-you-are, because-you-are-totally-clueless, and please, allow-me-to-educate-you." Isn't five years old a little early for this???
The topic that seemed to conjure this "look" most often was the Magic Basket. She was skeptical to say the least. I wasn't surprised. If the kid isn't going to believe in something as culturally acceptable as Santa Claus, what was going to make her believe in the far less popular tradition of the Magic Basket? We were discussing it yesterday when after shooting me about 3 minutes of the "look" she decided to clue me in. "Mom, I think that guy you bought the Magic Basket from was lying to you. There isn't going to be any presents. It's just a basket." (Given , might I add, with the same look Jack's mom shot him when he said he sold the cow for a handful of beans...) She also implied that maybe the money I spent on a Magic Basket would be better spent on real presents, ones she could actually open.
But Mommy Is Always Right.
So, lo and behold, this afternoon when I urged her to check the basket once more, what did she discover but this:
Eight beautiful Play Silks! And that wasn't all... move your mouse-arrow over the picture to see what was buried inside all that silky goodness:
Haahahahaha haaaahaa hahahahaha! Christmas is officially over!
Not that I don't like Christmas. Christmas is great! There's just been a little too much Crazy in my life, and I'm ready for the long break between now and Spring (about 6 months in this part of WI. Although, I'm almost expecting my tulips to burst forth with all the global warming warm weather we've been experiencing lately.)
And for those still reading my extremely long post, and those of you that don't mind listening to my real life drama, I'll share our latest episode.
Iris is allergic to something. We had her in the E.R. on Monday night. I'll go back one more day so you'll have the whole story. We were waiting for the countdown on Sunday night when at about 11:55 Iris hollared from the top of the stairs that she got sick in her bed. Not noun "sick", no, action-verb "sick". So Tim and I went into action, cleaning her up, throwing her sheets in the wash (why in the world was her matttress pad off?), cleaning the mattress. But she wasn't just sick, she was covered in Hives. C-O-V-E-R-E-D. I called the triage nurse, who advised me to give her some anti-histamines and send her back to bed. Well, that happened after about 3 more trips to the bathroom. The next morning her spots were worse.
So we went to the E.R. They were impressed enough to shoot her with an epi-pen. And give her steroids. And for some reason, Pepcid AC (it is supposed to help during allergic reactions, who knew?) The poor thing was a wet noodle. They finally let us go home after 3 hours, and she woke up the next morning polka-dot free.
Nothing she ate was out of the ordinary, and it might have been a viral thing and not an allergic reaction. But I'm still on guard. Because it could have been anything, and it could happen again. It happened once before, the last time she was on amoxicillan, but she didn't have any contact with that this time. So, who knows? I'm just glad she's better right now. We're just a bunch of sickies over here: Tim feels his pneumonia is back, and Harrison and I both have sinus stuff going on.
We really know how to ring in the New Year! I choose to believe we are just getting it all out of the way so the rest of the year will be illness-free! (Denial is a happy place to live!)
Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine!
We had a wonderful holiday weekend. I would have to say this was one of the best Christmas holidays we've had. It was casual, laid back, not crazy, everything one would want from holiday season.
The kids were spoiled. Thomas & Friends have more "friends" now. The doll house now has indoor plumbing and bunk beds. We've added some new games and puzzles.
Books, books, books.
And a Magic Basket.
According to the story, I purchased it from a peddler's cart. We're very excited to see what shows up! sssshhh!!! Come closer and I'll tell you the real story.... (pause to look over both shoulders) I ordered some presents online, kinda last minute, according to the USPS tracking department, the boxes will come on Friday.. Anyway, I wanted to still have something for the kids to open, so I came up with the magic basket story. Iris checks it every morning Stay tuned to see what the magic basket produces on Saturday!
Here is a the 2006 Grandchild/Grandma photo from my dad's side of the family (yes, that is my son crawling out of the picture in the lower right-hand corner.) My grandmother has 6 children. Socially they've kind of divided themselves into 2 groups, the older 3 and the younger 3. This photo is of the grandchildren of the older 3 and the children of the younger 3. The older grandchildren (there are 7 of us) figured that since we've had children ourselves, we're exempt from the yearly photo. There was over 40 people packed into my grandmother's house that Sunday.
It. Was. Crazy.
We went to my parent's house that night for our last Christmas in our childhood home. My parents are purchasing their retirement home. The won't close until June, so we'll have plenty of time left in the house (many of which will include packing, I'm sure) but it was still bittersweet. I got my niece everything she needed to assume the identity of Sleeping Beauty (deluxe dress, crown, shoes, scepter, purse, earrings and necklace.) She kept saying over and over "I love this stuff!" "I really really love this stuff!" It was so cute (she's 3 yrs old) I got my brother's daughter (still in en utero) a Monchhichi doll (you can get one here.) My brother carried one with him everywhere for most of his early childhood.
I got money. Which I spent on clothes. For real, clothes--not yarn. I know, I'm so disappointing.
I needed to break free from the frumpy-I-got-this-from-the-clearance-bin-6-years-ago look that I've been sporting for the last couple of years.
It worked out great, because Tim unknowingly had the day off yesterday. "Unknowingly." The man got up at 5 a.m., got ready, drove an hour to work (downtown Milwaukee) and thought it peculiar that the parking lot was empty. He went up to the office which, lo and behold, was dark and locked. He obviously was so engrossed in his work last week, he didn't notice the "we get two days off for Holidays" memo. In his defense, he's been on location at a client's for almost a year, and just got back into the home office a week or so ago. But I still laughed at with him about the whole thing.
Sooooo, back to my story, he came home and I went with a girlfriend back to Milwaukee and spent the afternoon trying on clothes and spending my Christmas money. I even bought a shirt that wasn't on sale! (gasp!)
I hope your Holidays were wonderful, and I pray your New Year will be even better!
I seem to have an issue with procrastinating mixed with a priority disorder.
For instance, I spent the morning the day of my grandmother's funeral cleaning out my refrigerator (she was a very tidy woman, actually, it wasn't an altogether inappropriate tribute...)
Or take right now, I should be finishing my parents' Christmas presents. But what am I doing? I'm responding to a silly meme. I was tagged. I haven't been tagged in ages. I'm not asking to be tagged again, mind you. But it is fun. Once in a while. Especially when I'm supposed to be doing something else....
6 Weird Things About Me
RULES:"Each
player of this game starts with the "6 weird things about you." People
who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well
as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to
be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that
says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your
blog."
1.) The sound of fingernails dragging across a chalkboard doesn't phase me.
2.) But the sound of slowly ripping paper gives me goosebumps (like the sound of peeling shipping tape off a box).
3.) I buy a different brand of pregnancy test every month because part of me blames the test for the negative results (although, there really are only 4 or 5 different brands, and its been a few years, so actually I forgive the "bad" tests and just rotate.)
4.) I have a very strong hoarding instinct. When I'm grocery shopping, and there are only 2 bags of green beans left on the shelf, I'll buy both. Even when I only need one.
5.) I'm a fast reader. I read Memoirs of a Geisha in less than 32 consecutive hours. I read Geisha, A Life (Mineko Iwasaki's response to Memoirs, 269 pages) In less than 20 consecutive hours. I don't skim, I can remember what I read. I got a perfect score on the Comprehension portion of my ACTs.
6.) I spent two weeks in the jungles of Ecuador, but I've never been to Minnesota (I live in WI).
I promise that this is still a knitting blog, although it seems to have become a Venting blog....
1. Tim has pneumonia. He's been sick for weeks, coughing and hacking, and I thought it was curious that we weren't getting sick too. Which led me to believe that it may be pnemonia, or at least bronchitis. Not to mention the amount of goo rising up from his lungs, and his chills, and rib-cracking coughing spells....
He's better now, and at work today. Although he called me at 1 o'clock to say he was wanting a nap.
2. My left arm is very sore. From the tetanus shot I got yesterday. You know, after the stray dog bit me.
Yeah, Iris and I were leaving a friend's house, and a HUGE Siberian Husky came running right up to us. I told Iris to go back in the house, and then I decided to walk up to the dog, with calm assertive energy, hoping he wouldn't attack. He was not in a calm-submissive state, but was willing to let me look at his collar (a choke chain with no tag). So I thought I might go door to door to find his home. He did good walking along-side me, and seemed to understand the sit-command. However, when we turned around to go in the opposite direction, he didn't like it, and took my whole hand in his mouth. He could have chewed on it like beef jerky, but chose not to. I only had a small scratch on one finger.
However, now that I was "bit" I had to take him to the humane society, because I've heard rabies isn't very fun.
The girls at the Humane society knew him by name, he visits often I guess. Like a second home. Which is good, because they knew he was current on his vaccinations. I got to speak to a police officer, and hopefully the owners will take their dog ownership more seriously this time.
I called my doctor to give him a heads up, and he requested I go in for a tetanous shot, considering my last one was in 1982!
3. We got a call from the adoption agency. The birthmom had her ultrasound. She is 23 weeks along now. The U/S revealed that the baby doesn't have a hole in her heart! Which is fantastic news. I think almost half of babies with Down Syndrome do have that hole.
The birthfather has decided since the ultrasound that maybe this won't be too bad, and they could parent afterall. Which is great. However, birthmom says "easy for him to say, I'm the one that will be home with the baby all day every day...." She is leaning heavily towards placement. But she doesn't want to make any decisions until after the baby is born.
So prayer has been answered, this baby is going to be born! At this point our roll has changed to that of a Safety Net. Honestly, I think this family will do a terrific job, and they are just overwhelmed by the diagnosis right now. Once they see that this baby is a baby, they'll be fine.
Regardless, our goal from January to April will be to sock away as much money as we can (grin). Luck favors the prepared! And it never hurts to have a little extra in the savings account.....
LIST OF KNITTING CRAFT-RELATED THINGS THAT MUST GET DONE
I just want to thank everyone that left a comment, as well as all of those that sent emails. I will get back to you, one by one, but I wanted to say a big collective "Thank You" right now. I really appreciate it.
So far, we're still waiting to hear back from the agency. They said they'd give us an update this week. There is another couple that has said they'd like to adopt the baby, though they aren't from our agency. Whatever happens, we're just praying for the safety and health of the baby, and clear direction for all those involved.
I told my parents, and although they have their reservations, they will support us however it turns out, like they always have.
I told Iris too. I explained to her that God might have a baby for us, and it was growing in someone else's tummy. I told her it was a little girl (YOU MEAN I MIGHT GET A BABY SISTER????) and that she has something called Down Syndrome and it will never go away. What it means is that even though her body will "grow up", she'll stay a little girl "on the inside" forever. And that is hard for some people, but if God allows it, it means He thinks we would be able to do it with His help. She was just sooooo thrilled about it, but understands that it might happen and it might not. We just have to wait.
We have sort of decided that if we do get to be this baby's parents, her name will be Ruby. God's precious jewel. (I've tried to find Twila Paris' song "Jewels", the one I couldn't stop singing in my mind the day we got the call, but all I can find is the lyrics. (Scroll down to the second song) It's an incredibly beautiful lullaby.)
I love poetry, and two poems (or more like a poem and a short story) that I'm loving right now are Wait and Welcome to Holland. Wait is something that was given to me 11 years ago when we started down the path of infertility, and it has brought me a lot of comfort over the years. It's kind of a multi-purpose poem, and speaks to any kind of waiting. I read Welcome to Holland years ago, and a dear knitter (thanks Laurie!) recently reminded me of it. In the midst of all of this, I'm trying to spend more time in my Bible, and one of my favorite verses seems to be popping up again and again: Ephesians 3:20-21 (ASV) "Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus unto all generations for ever and ever. Amen."
Amen indeed!
Christmas Stockings
I am never sure when St. Nick is supposed to come, is it the night of the 5th or the night of the 6th? I looked it up on Wikipedia, and it seems it's the night of the 5th. Bummer. I am only 2 rows into Iris' stocking. I have to finish the shop's newsletter first, and then I can try to knit for 24 hours straight and finish the stocking in time? Maybe not....
Bonne Marie had a link on her blog today for a festive slide show. Check out the Scared of Santa site! I have a few photos of my own I could have contributed!
Random Web Stuff
I decided to post some ideas for Christmas presents for knitters. I'll try to include some in every post in December. Patterns, notions, sheep stuff, whatever I come across. Like:
Well, I'm sure you won't hear from me until after St. Nicks day (my kids are home-schooled, they'll have no idea what day St. Nick is supposed to come. It could be the 20th for all they know.... Iris is just learning how to read a calendar, I think I'm safe... this year at least.) (Am I a terrible mother, or what?)
Warning: absolutely no knitting content! And if you are hearing this for the first time by reading it here, and you think you should have heard it in person, sorry. Double-sorry if you are family....
So, many of you know that we do not get to choose when or if we have any children. We are quite surprised by the two we have. Iris through adoption, and Harrison through birth.
You might not know, that for the last 2 years we have been "trying" for another. Which basically means praying for one since we've never used any form of birth control in the 11.5 years we've been married.
I even made a special visit to my OB/GYN and have some special pills that make me sicker than a dog, but increase the chances of having a baby. Not only that, but we have come up with a one-year-plan, the three of us (me, Tim, and Dr. C). How fun. PCOS, glucophage, Clomid, AIH, etc, etc. (I'll let you google those on your own if you're curious...)
We've done the Infertility thing before. For 6 years. Before having Iris. And now again, for the last 2 years. So we can officially say we've experienced Secondary Infertility.
Why not adopt again? Financially, we just won't be able to do that for another 2 years. For the sake of the children we already have, we want to pay off every bill first. Including the second mortgage and our school loans, and all of that will take another year and a half, if we're really well-behaved. Not to mention, a lot of agencies give preference to childless couples (which we totally agree with, being there once ourselves). And with two healthy children, the agency we adopted Iris through won't even work with us again if we wanted a healthy newborn.
(Insert paragraph defending decision to have more children. Explaining why we want more, why we think we should.... Include defense for overpopulating the world and the defense for the basement full of dirty laundry. Maybe for the first time include prepared (yet never shared) defense titled "why in the world do you think I need to defend any decision to have more children, and keep your polite cliches to yourself while your at it... or maybe just let that part out....)
And then we got a phone call two Fridays ago....
From our adoption agency saying that there is a woman expecting a baby in April... a little girl... and she has Down Syndrome. Would that be something we would consider?
Honestly, no, we've never considered that. I mean, when we were pregnant with Harrison, I denied the triple screen, because it didn't matter if it came back positive for anything. It wouldn't change anything (in other words, we wouldn't abort.)
At that exact moment though, it was easy to respond. We're Christians. God says ALL life has value. God says to take care of the orphans and the widows (James 1:27). And I believe that means more than sending a check once a month to a charity of your choice. I mean, really, we're pro-life and we should put our money where our mouth is, right? It's just living our what we believe! I firmly believe that if this is what God wants, he'll work out the details (like where we are going to come up with the $$$ for an adoption right now, that's reality) Twila Paris' song "Jewels" played over and over in my head...
We've prayed for another child for over 2 years. If God brings a child to us, are we going to turn it away because she's not "perfect"?
Of course we'll consider it!!! I told the social worker that, yes, we would consider it (she replied incredulously "really?" and I said "Really!"), but we needed to pray about it, and I needed to talk about it with Tim first. After talking to Tim (who happened to be on exactly the same page as I was) I called our Pastor. His first words were "Well Amy, you probably already know that my sister has Downs..." to which I replied "Actually, NO, I wasn't aware of that! What a coincidence!" We talked for a while, and he gave great advice, supporting us in the direction we felt God was leading us. I also called a friend that has a daughter in her 20s with Downs, and a Brother as well. Also very encouraging.
So we called back the agency, and told them that "yes" we would parent this little girl if that's what God wants in this situation.
And so we are waiting. Waiting for the birth-family's decision.
Waiting.
Again.
We'll be waiting for almost 5 months.
As much as I am trying to just live life, this is affecting me. You know when you're trying to get pregnant, even sometimes when you're not, and you think you might be, but you have to wait two weeks or so to test? And during those two weeks, every other thought is "what if I'm pregnant?" That is my mind right now. "What if we're going to have another baby?" I can't help it.
I don't want to tell our parents, because I'm just too emotionally exhausted to deal with a negative response right now. I'm thinking since I posted it here, I should probably fill them in though. Soon.
In the mean time, Here are a few great sites and blogs I've come across trying to educate ourselves about Down Syndrome:
Site under construction!!!
Use of a hard hat while visiting is optional, although recommended.
Please ignore the dust, we hope to finish most of the construction before 2007. Thank you for your patience!
Amy Lu (website contractor)
My New Button!
Swiper no Swiping!
Please feel free to copy my button to your computer, but PLEASE do not steal my bandwith!
In the midst of complexity, handicrafts provide simplicity. In the midst of movement and noise, they make space for silence and solitude. -Susan Lydon
Let me warn you that a genuine interest in knitting can keep you fascinated, eagerly pursuing it, and never satisfied, through a lifetime. -Rose Wilder Lane, 1963
Knit on, with hope and confidence, through all crisis. -Elizabeth Zimmerman
